#FROREALlifeStories | Now you see it…now you don’t. | Life after miscarriage 

*trigger warning: this story includes information about miscarriage which may be triggering for some readers.*

Written By: Valaencia Thompson

The muse behind this story has chosen to remain anonymous.

**Updated June 13, 2016**

The muse behind this #FROREALlifeStory has decided she doesn’t want to be anonymous any more. She is my sister, Cherell Nelson.

Your bravery is unmatched. I love you sissy.

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She sat there in the bathroom. Doubled over on the toilet. These cramps she was having were absolutely crazy. She was super constipated. “This is definitely one of the worst periods ever,” she thought. 

Something told her to take a pregnancy test.

Maybe it was her womanly intuition or maybe it was a sign from God.
Either way, she reached to the back of the bathroom cabinet where she had a pregnancy test handy. Just in case.

She was so confused when she saw those two lines on the pregnancy test. She just stared at them for a minute.

Two lines. It was a very faint plus sign. But it was definitely a plus sign none the less.

Two lines means pregnant.

“Am I pregnant?” She thought.
“I can’t be.” She couldn’t believe it.

She took a second test and then the third (she sent her husband out in the middle of night to buy another box), they both said it as clear as day, “pregnant,” right there on the Clearblue screen.

Not one. Not two. Three pregnancy tests confirmed it.

She was pregnant.

The confusion that she was feeling began to fade and turn into excitement.

She was so excited that before she knew it, she was on Facetime with her family.
It had been less than an hour from taking the tests, but she just couldn’t hold it in.

She’s not good at surprises. She had to tell them!

Everyone was excited. Her parents, her siblings. Everyone laughed. Everyone was so happy about this blessing.

But, there was something else going on too. She was still bleeding. Heavily.

“Are you suppose to bleed like this when you’re pregnant?” She wondered.

She had been bleeding for the past couple of weeks and cramping off and on. She just figured her body was readjusting to the birth control (she had missed a couple of weeks), you know, an abnormal cycle. She did not think for a second she was pregnant.

She made a doctor’s appointment the very next morning. They were able to see her that afternoon. Her mom accompanied her to the OB/GYN. She was so nervous and excited at the same time!

She already knew she was pregnant. Three tests wouldn’t lie. She just wanted a professional confirmation as soon as possible.

The doctor took a urine sample and checked her vitals. Her blood pressure was pretty high (like too high), and her weight was significantly heavier than it should have been. She had already decided the night before that it was time to get serious about her health and weight. She had a baby to consider!

After a few minutes, the doctor confirmed that the urine sample was positive. She was definitely pregnant.
“Oh. My. Goodness,” is all that she could think.

She was so excited, but the excitement quickly turned into nervousness when the doctor said that, “this pregnancy would be very high risk,” because of her health.

The doctor wanted to do a quick ultrasound to check for the baby.
This was all moving very fast.

Pregnant. High risk. Ultrasound.

As she was getting ready to leave, the nurse stopped her and her mom. She said they were sorry but, “there was no sign of life for the baby.”

What? Her mind went blank. Her heart sank. Her stomach twisted and the cramps felt even more intense than they had been.

They said a whole bunch of other things that she didn’t understand.

They said she had already miscarried the baby.

There was no baby.

There were two lines,
but there was no baby.

She broke down. Thank God her mom was with her…all she could do was cry.

They went on to tell her that her body was having trouble passing the fetus (hints the bleeding and severe cramping). They said that they would have to give her some pills that would encourage her body to release the fetus on its own.

She couldn’t believe what she was being told. All of this news in less than 24 hours. Her emotions were on overload.

She had already told her family. Now, she would have to tell them the baby is gone.

She would have to tell her husband that their unexpected blessing was gone. Gone before they could even soak it all in. She called him at work. He cried.

They cried together when he got home, her and her husband. Her and her immediate family. They cried. They mourned this child.

That was almost a year ago now.

Since then, the doctor has confirmed that her levels look good. She’s been getting her health in order and trying to lose weight. In fact, she has lost a good amount since then and plans to keep it going.

She’s not sure what caused her to miscarry, but she’s been trying to take good care of herself now.

She’s planning for her rainbow baby.
The baby after the storm.

She believes that God makes no mistake. Her and her husband trust that in His time, they will have a healthy, strong baby.

In His time.

There will be another two lines.
She’s positive.

3 thoughts on “#FROREALlifeStories | Now you see it…now you don’t. | Life after miscarriage 

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