Last night, I literally had a temper-tantrum-cry-fest on the floor in my closet.
I got home from work at about 11pm. My husband wasn’t home yet from a baseball game, so I got the lovely privilege of taking the dog out. I couldn’t help but notice that under her crate (lining the carpet), was my bath towel. My good bath towel. My fluffy bath towel. A bath towel that was a wedding gift. The bath towel that my husband must have grabbed off the bed (cause it was the first towel he saw) and decided was a good choice to use under her crate since her dog towels were being washed.
Y’all my last two weeks have been extremely stressful, but that bath towel situation sent me over the edge though.
Yes, my little teapot was tipped over and poured out. I went into my closet to angrily sort dirty clothes and towels for a midnight laundry session. All I wanted to do was come home from work, take a hot shower and go to bed, but no, I’m up doing laundry (that I haven’t had time to do all week).
As I sorted the laundry, I cursed and cried and cursed some more and cried some more. Yep, I just let it all out. Nice ugly cry face and all. Nose was running. My dog was probably wondering what the heck was wrong with me.
Honestly, it’s good my husband wasn’t home because it would have more than likely been an unnecessary argument filled with me crying. Instead, it was just me being pathetic in my closet sorting dirty laundry.
Was I really crying about the towel? Well, a little – but, the deeper reason I was crying is because my poor little heart has been heavy lately. I’ve been piling things on top of things and for the most part, I’ve had a can-do attitude. But, I must admit…I get tired sometimes, as we all do.
Between dealing with personal issues, to working (basically two jobs), trying to keep up with the blog, wanting to spend quality time with my husband (both being busy) and also trying to get my nutrition and fitness life in order (because I’ve gained 20 lbs) – I’ve been a bit overwhelmed, and had not really noticed how much until I sat there in my closet sobbing over a dirty towel.
I sent a series of angry texts to my husband, not really caring if I was interrupting a good time or not.
Lord, I’m thankful for his patience with me. Sometimes we can both bite each other’s heads off, but it’s like he can sense when I’m really losing my crap – in those moments he’s really patient with me. He didn’t snap back…he just responded calmly.
Did he say, “Ok we can wash it baby” – was he seriously insinuating that I could actually wash a
dirty towel and use it again?
Did he have the nerve to say the towel was
not ruined, that it could actually simply be washed?
At first, I snapped, “No! It’s ruined now!”
But, after a while I calmed down, wiped my swollen eyes, and I realized that he was right. I could just wash the towel…problem solved. I mean, how many hotel towels have I used? Lord only knows who or what happened to those towels prior to being washed. I could definitely wash this towel and use it again.
It made me think of life and the way my weeks have been feeling, and I’m reminded…I can be washed and used again. I can cry over dirty towels, but I can also wash them clean, restore them, fluff them…and use them again.
My spirit can be cleansed, restored, fluffed…use me, Lord.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
John 14:1 Let not your hearts be troubled…
Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all of your anxieties on him because he cares for you.
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
By redirecting my fears, worries, and sadnesses to Jesus, I can be washed and used for His glory.
You can too.
Life can get us down…but I thank God for giving me everything I need. Last night, I needed my husband and his gentleness. I even needed those tears. Tears are cleansing for our heavy hearts. After that good cry over something so dumb and small…God showed me that He’s still there even in the middle of a mess. I feel more encouraged than I did yesterday, and I hope you do too.
The next time you’re about to cry over a dirty towel, go ahead. Let it out. Then, remember, “we can wash it baby.”