First year as a 2o-something married woman: living, money and love. 

I can’t believe that it’s already been a year. Our anniversary is in two days! This one year anniversary has crept up on me so quick, y’all. October 4, 2015 changed my life forever.

Honestly, being married just feels natural to me. It feels like, “this is what’s supposed to happen.” We’ve been together literally since we were kids (15). So, the fact that we double tied the knot we had already started – it just feels good, honestly.

Marriage has been an adjustment though. Do not get me wrong.

In the words of the great Maroon 5,

“It’s not always rainbows and butterflies it’s compromise that moves us along.”

Me and my husband did not live together prior to marriage. We had spent weekends and gone on overnight trips, but we had never actually lived together. So of course, him being obsessed with using countless amounts of q-tips a day, and me finding them in the most awkward places has been not my favorite part of this situation. But, the fact that he cooks for me and will help clean up too (sometimes after I’ve thrown a huge fit) well, that is a huge plus. We balance out pretty well for the most part.
Living with someone is just one of those things you’ve got to adjust to. Even though a lot of people conform to the, “you don’t know a person until you’ve lived with them,” concept. I call BS. I mean, if sharing living space is the ONLY way to TRULY know someone, then why not just meet strangers you like, and instead of dating, ask to move in together (I realize some people do this lol).
What I’m saying is, if you love someone, them being themselves at HOME shouldn’t be a deal breaker. To me, love is when you choose them even when they continue to not throw the q-tips away. That’s still my boo – despite the annoying things he may do. And vice versa.
I’m sure he doesn’t love it that when he’s trying to sleep, I may roll all over him and jump in the bed. I like to play at the most inappropriate times, like when the game is on and I walk in front of the TV on purpose. Or, when he’s sitting outside enjoying the breeze and I walk up with a handful of uncooked rice and drop it on his head (this may have happened yesterday).

To live with me is to love me. I’m super annoying and I’m okay with that.

 

Finances are another thing. We agreed to combine our bank accounts. I know it’s 2016, and some may disagree but, the “what’s mines is yours,” doesn’t just apply to the living quarters for US. We are open about finances and choose to share them with each other openly. The first 4-6 months were tough. We may or may not have over drafted a couple times.

You know, when you’re used to what YOUR money is like, you just assume it’s there.

When you’re sharing an account…well, you just may assume wrong sometimes. We definitely had to and are still learning to COMMUNICATE. Like, “Hey! Stop using your card on Taco Bell! There are bills due!”

 

We had to sit down, argue a LOT, and write out every expense so we would know what our NEW monthly spending looked like. It was not going to be the same as it was when we were single with separate accounts. Your bills are now OUR bills. Let’s do this.

 

But, honestly it hasn’t been a bad thing. I feel managing OUR money has helped us to learn to communicate and manage other things as a team. It also helps control bad spending habits…can’t really sneak around buying unnecessary stuff when you share an account and the other person will see it. That doesn’t really stop me though, I admit. My husband is a better spender-lesser-in-a-month-er. But, I’m a better manage-the-money-er. So we balance. See! It works.

 

Other than the adjustments of living a new life under one roof, being married has been the biggest blessing from The Lord. God smiles on marriages. They were in fact, His design. Before politics. Before the world said, “it’s just a piece of paper.” God made the first man and woman, and He made them to be together. It’s natural to desire companionship. It’s natural to want to be married.

 

Don’t let the world SCARE you out of it. Marriage can be a wonderful, hard, annoying, fulfilling, and overall beautiful thing.

 

I thank God for my husband every.single.day.

I pray that we spend a long life with one another. Raise a couple mini-us’, take more than a couple trips, cook, laugh, grow, and just be together until death do us part. I’m so happy to have someone who I can confidently journey this life with.

 

As I look back over this first year, I’m asking God to order our steps and that the road up ahead will be a marriage that brings Him glory. A marriage our kids can grow up and long for. A marriage that our peers will see as an example. A marriage that the both of us wouldn’t have any other way.

 

Happy one year anniversary to me and my one and only.


6 thoughts on “First year as a 2o-something married woman: living, money and love. 

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