I panicked on the plane! Since when am I scared to fly? 

*This was written yesterday on my flight from Houston, TX to Los Angeles, CA. A 3 hour and 40 minute long flight.*

I’ll be honest with you…

I love to take trips. But, I don’t really enjoy the actual flying that much. I realized when I went on my first business trip last year that I actually have a (low key) fear of being thousands of feet in the air, in a confined space. It’s not a crippling fear (I’ve flown many other times) but, when faced with doing it solo… it’s a slight fear none the less. 

I think it’s more so this vivid imagination I have that can get the best of me when I’m stressed out. I have the kind of imagination that creates scenarios so vivid that my heart starts pounding and tears can begin flowing…for nothing.

 I can start crying about something that has only happened in my head. Yes, I can think up an emotional storm. Vivid imagination. 

This morning when I got up, I felt so uneasy. A feeling that’s been following me these last couple weeks. I’ve just had a stressful last few weeks. 

It’s been A LOT going on.

I didn’t watch the presidential inauguration yesterday, but I still feel uneasy about the changes taking place in our world. People are pissed off all over the world (me included), and I could not help but hope that one of those pissed off people doesn’t show up at Hobby Airport, and do irrational things that I fall victim to or have to witness. 

I am not as afraid to fly alone as I am of people doing crazy things while I’m around. Being an innocent and unsuspecting bystander of something terrible…nobody wants to experience that. 

I know my thoughts are extreme sometimes. My anxiety can spiral and get me worked up for no apparent REAL reason. But, the reasons in my head become so real. That’s why I’m writing this, I feel like most people assume I’m cool, calm, collected and in control all the time. Yeah, I’m real good at looking like I’m calm while I panic on the inside. Like right now. 
That’s what’s happening now! 

When the plane prepared for takeoff I could feel myself getting really nervous. My chest started to feel weird. I had to put my headphones in, turn up the volume…all the way. I had to take slooooooow deeeeeep breaths. In through my nose and out through my mouth. “Breathe, Valaencia. Just breathe.” I could feel a wave of panic and fear coming over me. 

I am legit scared. It’s been about 35 minutes of being in the air. I’m still trying to relax, writing helps me relax.
Fear. This usually happens when I take my focus off of God. You know, I lose sight of my faith and hope sometimes when I begin to pay too much attention to what’s going on around me. 

I prayed for peace and am trying to denounce the feelings of fear that I am facing. I keep thinking about the climate of our world and things happening left and right, it’s scary sometimes, you know? Top those thoughts off with being on an aircraft, filled to capacity, sitting in a middle seat…STRESSED. 

But, I have been looking forward to this trip to LA since October. 

“FEAR is not about to ruin my trip.” 

I say this over and again to myself. 
“FEAR is not about to ruin my trip.” 

I say that as I still feel some uneasiness in my chest and shakiness in limbs. But, I can feel myself beginning to calm down. I refuse to let FEAR win. That is why I’m on this plane, and that is how I have faced every day of the past couple weeks. 

Cause y’all, I’ve been afraid. 
But, I refuse to let FEAR win.

There’s been some storms brewing in my personal life and the lives of some of the people that I love dearly. I’m so sensitive, even if a storm doesn’t directly effect me…it effects me. There are storms brewing all over the world…it effects me.
But, I refuse to let FEAR win. 
It’s working…let me keep going.

I realize I am my calmest when I feel like I’m in control of things…or, when I feel I can help. But, when I’m not feeling in control, I feel panicked. I’m sure many of you can relate to that feeling. 
So, I keep asking myself, “How are you not letting fear win if you still feel afraid and panicked.”

Well, to me, it’s by being afraid but choosing to exercise FAITH by continuing to move forward. I feel the FEAR but I’m trying to move through it anyway. Feel the fear, but don’t let it stop you. I’m actively changing my thoughts in this moment…and it’s working. Thank you, God.

Even when I was afraid to get on this plane, I got on it anyway and trusted God to fly with me. I trust God to carry and surround me. You see, I’m never truly in control of what happens anyway. But, I’m in control of my actions and I can begin to control my thoughts. 

It’s always the Holy Spirit carrying me. So when I’m afraid I try to choose to not let fear win by believing IM CARRIED, even through my uneasiness, I’m covered. 
God never leaves my side. Ever. 
He doesn’t leave you either. 

Exercise your faith by actively facing your fears. Do things that scare you anyway. Move through it.  
So, to anyone else feeling uneasiness and fear with the storms in and around your life…you are not alone. Don’t let it stop you!
“FEAR is not about to ruin YOUR trip.” 



Here is what happened the rest of the flight…

I stopped writing because I had to use the restroom. When I came back I ended up talking to the lady sitting next to me. Found out we were the same age, she is also the eldest child, and she recently moved from Houston to San Diego for her husband’s job. We chatted about a lot of stuff for the remainder of the flight. She was so cool. Like, for real. When we landed, we followed each other on social media…look at that. I could have kept my headphones in and let the fear consume me the whole way. One of my challenges is to meet someone new when I go to new places…and right there on that plane, I did! 

Fear can get in the way of connections. 


 ​And this snap my friend took of me after I landed cracks me up…cause you would never know I was just freaking out on the plane moments before. I’m back to normal. ❤️

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